Bernard visits a petrol station with Britains first topless garage attendant; confronts his boss over tax avoidance; has problems finding change for a parking meter; sings a song about his daily dates; encounters the Great Mysto the Hypnotist; has problems winding in a kite; visits an antique shop to return a faulty lamp; reports a lost truck (attached to an elephant) to British Rail's lost property office and has a unique way to deter life insurance salesmen.

Highlights include a passenger who attempts to land an aeroplane; Bernard sings the song My Mate Bert; strange table service in a restaurant; a customer has problems with his bank manger; an odd encounter for the Grenadier Guards and a Duke is disturbed in his private bedroom.

Bernard has problems at the supermarket; encounters a problem with graffiti; attempts to be a Birdman; sings the song National Hate Day; makes an appeal for the church restoration fund; leads an end of the world cult and the women of the WI have come to an important decision.

Highlights include a husband who wants to auction his soul; police officers go undercover to catch molesters on Hampstead Heath; Bernard sings Living Next to the Joneses; Toilet attendants go on strike; a road markings painter who goes rogue; a builder with a unique approach to selling flats and a man offering his body for medical research.

An Eskimo finds his way to London; two TV studio cleaners have fun at the news desk; Bernard sings a song about Monday Morning; a father dresses as Santa Claus to visit his son for Christmas and a plumber prepares to be invested as a Knight of the Garter.

A husband returns from holiday with an interesting gift; Bernard sings his 1962 hit single, Hole in the Ground; a Window Dresser performs a striptease with a clothes dummy; a guardsman loses his trousers; a Traffic Warden is mistaken for a spy; an angler makes an unusual catch; a Guttenberg Bibel is found on a street market; and a director feels the performance of Henry V isn't funny enough.

A ventriloquist has a cheeky secret; a son takes a rather officious line with his father; Adrian Bogworthy recites another poem; a coal miner is late for a ballroom dancing competition; Bernard sings I'd Rather Go Fishing and there is a peculiar military discharge ceremony.

An unusual approach to a chess match; Bernard sings the song Verily; a pregnancy is announced to a husband with hiccups; a burglar is mistaken for Peter Pan; there's an unusual TV discussion; a man chases a fly, and Adrian Bogworthy returns with another recital from the works of Thespian Mungo.

A husband celebrates the anniversary of his wife leaving him; a swarm of bees take up an inconvenient residence; Bernard sings Gossip Calypso; a butler loses his temper; a husband is chosen to be the first Englishman to land on the Moon; a couple of Totters discuss their findings; a female Traffic Warden knows how to deal with male parking offenders; Adrian Bogworthy attempts to read another of Thespian Mungo's poems, and old military ranks re emerge outside a Park Lane hotel.

A bank clerk reveals his true identity; there are strange goings on in a mens' sauna; a prospector leaves his gold mine to his sweetheart; Bernard sings a Folk Song; a cross channel swim attempt takes place; Adrian Bogworthy once again reads from the works of Thespian Mungo, and a housewife takes in a lodger without telling her husband.

Police search for an escaped prisoner at a convent; a man traces his lineage; Bernard sings his hit from 1962, Right Said Fred; a murder scene in a play goes wrong; a husband explains why he was seen with another woman; Adrian Bogworthy gives his final performance; a Scotsman causes trouble in a pub, and a plumber fixes a problem in a Harem.