Cobra (1986)

Well everyone from John Wayne to Clint Eastwood has had a go at the rogue cop does good drama, so now it’s the turn of the wooden as a cheeseboard Sylvester Stallone with “Cobretti”. With a stylish leather jacket, a confident swagger and a toothpick constantly in his mouth, this officer has to turn his mind to a seemingly unconnected series of vicious attacks. Indeed, the only things that might connect the crimes are that the victims all seems to be insignificant people of no particular importance to anyone. We are not so much in the dark as him, though, as we know a little more about what’s going on and why it’s very important that he manages to keep “Ingrid” (an almost equally static Brigitte Nielsen) safe from a menacing individual who is determined to stop her testifying against his cultish paymasters. This film is entirely designed as a vehicle for Stallone with very little originality to it, but there is some action now and again and the nemesis reminded me of Conan-Doyle’s slightly maniacal “Hoxton Creeper” as he does his job well enough. Car chases, shoot-outs, black eyes and bruises galore but we’ve seen it all before - only without so many cheesy power ballads. It’s dated, and frankly a bit dull. Sorry.

My mother loved this film back when I was a kid, actually took me to see it three times in the theater... when I was about 6. As a kid, it was another fun action movie with a lot of fun violence and just scary enough where I could boast about it at school. And, as an adult it's a fun action movie with a lot of fun violence and a plot that doesn't completely make sense, but who cares because the point is fun. It's one of those movies that you don't expect a lot going into and you are rewarded with, well, mindless popcorn munching action that is delivered in a way that only the 80s could do. So what's not to like?

Short and sweet. 'Cobra' is a straightforward, by the numbers action film with Sylvester Stallone. It doesn't really do much to drift you away from the obvious, but the action itself is entertaining and some of the deaths are quite cool to watch. The songs are passable, if not entirely well chosen. Stallone, as you'd likely expect, is the only performer worth noting. He does his usual stuff and it comes across strong enough, one thing I didn't like about his character is his speech - the dialogue is kinda poor, they attempt to make Cobra a smooth, cool badass but it doesn't really work in that way. I'd almost considering this a disappointing film, but the watchable action and Stallone himself carry this over the line for a good film in my opinion.

This is where the law stops and I start, sucker! Cobra is directed by George P. Cosmatos and written by Paula Gosling (novel Fair game) and Sylvester Stallone. It stars Stallone, Brigitte Nielsen, Brian Thompson, Reni Santoni, Andrew Robinson, John Herzfeld and Lee Garlington. Music is by Sylvester Levay and cinematography by Ric Waite. A tough-on-crime street cop must protect the only surviving witness to a strange murderous cult with far-reaching plans. Cobra is a tantalising peek as to just what Stallone's "Beverley Hills Cop" would have looked like. He had turned in a gritty and ballsy action screenplay but the studio balked at the cost and thus went with the comedic Eddie Murphy route (which worked great as it happens). This truncated 1hour and 20 minute Cobra just hints at what a dark edgy action film we should have had before the scissor suits at the studio got panicky and cut out a third of the pic. What we have left though is still good fun, Stallone is on cocky and cool bad dude mode, the villain is OTT (Brian Thompson actually looks like Arnie in some facial shots), Nielsen is in her natural bodily state... while the action we do get is high octane. It's hardly a stinker, if a little frustrating with a "what might have been hanging" over it, and of course the editing is shoddy. 6.5/10

It's hard to find a single aspect of _Cobra _that hadn't been done before, or hasn't been done better since. It's hoakey and way too self-serious given the content. But if you're hankering for some of that Sly action of yore, you shouldn't go past _Cobra_... Unless its for any number of the nearly-identical-but-better movies he did in the same era. _Final rating:★★½ - Had a lot that appealed to me, didn’t quite work as a whole._